Sunday, March 24, 2019

Why I Don’t Not Believe - for believers and skeptics


A couple years ago I was asked to teach New Testament and the following year, the Book of Mormon. Living in the San Francisco area, I had plenty of opportunity to dialog with those who do not believe. I even had opportunity to discuss matters of faith with those whose former faith had waned in the flux of pseudo-intellectual attacks from all quarters; former believers and never believers alike.
There are, after all, plenty of topics to challenge one’s faith regardless the holy writ one clings to. As a student of the Bible, I would have been asleep at the wheel to not be aware of controversies like constructing the earth in a few days, no rain until a world-wide flood, celestial impossibilities like the sun standing still, people coming back from the dead, oceans parting, over-packed arks, walking on water, talking donkeys and walking conniving serpents just to name a few more prominent anachronisms to the modern mind.
The Book of Mormon adds its own collection of improbabilities to the sciences; animals that weren’t thought to exist, civilizations undergoing frequent and massive cultural seesaws, rare metals and materials….
To those who make a life’s work out of undermining other’s faiths, there is plenty of fodder to work with… and yet I still believe. Why? And what do I mean that “I don’t not believe?” Simply this, science is an uncertain art that is constantly correcting and re-enlightening itself. History is even worse as the sources are few, biased and void of testability for veracity. So, I have come to conclude that to base one’s beliefs about God on the outcome of an intellectual sparing session would not be a solid foundation to springboard one’s life.
I could choose to ‘Not Believe’ the spiritual content and value obtained from the Book of Mormon or the Bible for lack of my ability (at present) to examine the alloy of stainless steel in the sword wielded by Laban or a plausible explanation for the solar stand still, but that might be a bad call should they unearth the steel treasure down the road a piece as my life comes to a close. I could choose to scoff at the talk of Jesus walking on water having failed in the attempt to reproduce the event in my own laboratory.
You see where I am going with this? I have watched a number of Ahahs reveal themselves in just my own short life; like pre-Columbian horse and Hebrew DNA being finally discovered as predicted by the Book of Mormon but in no case, did that shake let alone break my faith in bleaker years.
Why not? Because in the very beginning I chose wisely to test the very premise of Christianity and the restored gospel. My experiment on the word asked the most fundamental question right up front; as the children’s song says, “Heavenly Father, are you really there and do you listen to and answer every child’s prayer?”
So when I hear someone say, “I question if Joseph Smith was Prophet” because of historical hit pieces, either real but generally not, I think to ask – “Have you asked the only source that matters?” Have you never had encounters with the Divine that you are left to but your own devices to ferret out truth from the clutter of opposing or even hostile forces?
For my understanding, testimony is not belief and contrary to popular lingo, I don’t think you strengthen or weaken it; it can only be added to or forgotten due to long neglect. In my parlance, it is direct experience. Belief, however, can come from experience or an extrapolation from hope. Let me explain that seemingly reverse or perhaps circular order.
I had a profound experience with God when reading the writings in the Book of Mormon as a young man. I have written more extensively about this elsewhere. It was life altering and heart changing. I knew God existed because he changed me pretty fundamentally - instantly. From that encounter, I ‘believed’ the Book had to come from a divine source and by inference the man who produced it too.
I took that experience of a mighty change of heart and when called, answered the call to preach the good word to the people of Norway. When explaining the story of Joseph Smith’s first visionary experience, without belaboring this discussion with so much detail, I and all in the room shared another revelatory event where body and mind are lifted and enlightened - a singular moment of pure knowledge and epiphany. Like explaining what a spoonful of sugar must taste like for the first time, all I can say is you don’t forget those moments any more than any other event you might witness.
So, I added that event to my book of testimonies. An experience had become testimony and that in turn led to a belief that was subsequently replaced by a testimony. My stories of direct encounters, enlightenments, revelations, healings, and directions have grown and have not dimmed by time nor diminished by sophistries demanding instant answers.
Patience has been my friend; sometimes after years of trial of my faith, it revealed “ahah” moments that have been precious to me. After all, even agents of the most high God appreciate seeing comforting sign posts along the path to Zion.

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